An Interview with Sophie Farrow - Founder of Bad Mum Magazine.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Sophie, she gives us her honest take on motherhood & all that comes with it below. You can check out the Bad Mum Magazine, an online mag for honest parenting, by clicking the photo >>>
Please define motherhood in your own words Sophie:
Bloody hard work, extreme tiredness and the most amount of love you will ever feel!
How have your notions as a woman changed since motherhood?
I think you finally find your inner lioness that provides you with that voice you might not have had before, and a sense of a Mummy Super Power that gives you strength you never knew existed. You truly appreciate how remarkable women are and what our bodies are capable of. Being a mother has certainly changed my mind, body and soul…literally…as my Mummy belly overlaps the laptop!
What do you want or wish for most for your children? To be a free spirit. We are lucky in this country that we have so many open doors and opportunities to become anything they want to be. To see the world, have fun, be kind to others and live a happy life! Us Mum’s always want the same, that ultimately for them is to be healthy and happy, but I just want Jake to follow his own path and keep seeing the world his own special way. Hopefully he will let me tag along for the ride!
I know a lot of women who struggled with their own identity after becoming a mum, is this something you have experienced and if so, how did you/do you deal with it?
To be honest I am still dealing with this one. As motherhood changes every part of your life, especially the way we look and feel about ourselves, not forgetting we aren’t using our minds like we used to either, so you feel yourself fading away slowly. My son is 5 years old and only now as I went back to work in September (first time since he was born) I have felt myself creep back again, and it is an amazing feeling! You HAVE to find time for YOU, its not a selfish act or a treat, it is essential, and that took me a long time to learn.
How important has the support of other women/mums been for you? You know what, I can be a bit of a loner at times (through choice) and because of this I went deeper and deeper into a hole with just Jake and I, even to the point of when he was at nursery and I was getting asked out, I didn’t want to go. Over the last year I slowly found my Mummy tribe and a good bunch of women around me, and now I wouldn’t change it. I still need my alone time to be on my own, but I still have other Mum’s there when you need that big blow out, rant, cry too and a good old laugh! We all need a shoulder to cry on or someone to ask advice too, and people in the same boat as you are normally the best ones. This parenting lark is so hard, so we need people on our wave length to keep us afloat.
I would really love to get your thoughts on the external pressures for mums, whether it be body pressure, the pressure to be wonderwoman every day, to be able to cope with everything, how do you deal with this? I don’t always! There seems to be a new added pressure put onto women now days that you can’t even enjoy your maternity leave, because you should have your baby in one hand and your phone in the next, organizing world domination!! If women have time to sit still for all of five minutes, we feel like we should be doing something – its like I finally have a day off tomorrow, what shall I do? Oh, I better start a business, blog or vlog of some kind! We already do the remarkable of pushing a human being out of us and keeping them alive, on top of that we deal with our other kids, housework, bills, school stuff, gardening, working, pets, shopping, parties… and still feel like we aren’t successful enough, it is madness when you think about it. On top of all of that we have health and fitness bloggers everywhere snapping back into shape quickly after giving birth, telling us what we should and shouldn’t be doing, and the whole thing is soul destroying. We are setting ourselves up for failure because we simply can’t do it all, we will burn out and we are only human. We need to remember what is more important to us, who is around us and these things are just apps on a phone!
What is your ‘you time’ moment? Being alone, just me and no one else. I have to have that at some point every day, even if it is for only 10 minutes or I feel like I am slowly going crazy (snappy!)
What has been your proudest mum moment so far? My son has delayed speech and language disorder so not many people can always understand what he is saying. His Christmas play was coming up and I just thought Jake was on stage in the background somewhere, as he never told me anything. On the day of the play I had the surprise of my life! They had secretly planned for him to be at the front with a line in the play to say, and it was a surprise for me. Well, let’s just say when he said his line so proudly, I was a complete and utter mess…snot and all! Never cried so much in my life and I then realized I shouldn’t settle for anything less, he can do it too!
What is the best piece of advice you have been given? Pick your battles! I live by this every day because you just don’t need to keep saying no all the time and sometimes it isn’t worth the battle. I think if he isn’t doing any harm or hurting anyone then let it go! Don’t sweat the small stuff otherwise it is exhausting!
Anything you would like to share with mums out there or women considering children? People don’t tell you the hard bits only the good bits! When you want a baby, you don’t think far past the baby stage but there is so much more then that. Someone once told me (when I was crying (I cry a lot) with lack of sleep) that it only gets harder! At the time I thought ‘oh thanks for that’ but sadly it is true. Being a Mum is the best and most life changing experience you’ll ever go through but be prepared for how hard it really is too, you think you are prepared but you aren’t. Sorry, just saying what I wish someone told me!